When I’ve got a case of the blues, I sometimes cheer myself up by buying a new book or two on Amazon. Perhaps you have some similar habits: you know what cheers you up, whether it’s going shopping, eating a giant bag of chips, opening a bottle of wine, lighting up…

The problem is, a lot of these little habits don’t really cheer us up, and, over time, they can have a very negative effect on our health, our wallet, or both.

These are some perennially popular ones – and reasons why they’re not a good idea:

1.    Comfort  Eating

Do you ever turn to food when you’re bored, stressed, or feeling low?  Many of us have a long-established pattern of eating for emotional reasons – this may be something we learnt as small children, if parents gave us candy as a comforter (or to keep us quiet!)

The problem with comfort eating is that, even if a king-sized candy bar dulls our misery temporarily, we usually feel worse afterwards. If you’re trying to take care of your health, or lose weight, you’ll probably feel guilty for using your bad mood as an excuse to succumb to temptation.

A short-term sugar crash won’t do much for your state of mind, and your long-term health is likely to suffer if you regularly over-indulge in sweet, salty or fatty snacks.

2.    Alcohol or Cigarettes

When I realized in college that I often felt I “needed” a glass of wine at the end of the day in order to unwind and relax, I knew it was time to go teetotal for a while. You might be far from being an alcoholic – but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a drinking problem.

Turning to the bottle when you’re feeling blue isn’t going to help. At best, you might forget about what’s troubling you for an evening – but your problems will still be there the next day (and they may well be accompanied by a hangover). If you’re starting to feel that you “need” a drink in order to de-stress, be careful.

I’ve never smoked, but a few of my friends are smokers, and from what they’ve said, I know that cigarettes do provide some stress-relief. This comes, however, with a hefty price tag, both in monetary and health terms. If you’re putting off quitting because you can’t relax without a cigarette, start exploring some better stress-busting techniques.

3.    Shopping

There’s nothing wrong with using your money to buy things that bring you enjoyment. If you regularly go shopping to lift your mood, however, there’s a good chance that you’re buying a lot of stuff that you don’t really need and don’t really want.

If you get into the habit of shopping when you’re down, you’ll be more susceptible to succumbing to cunning marketing ploys. As with comfort eating, alcohol and cigarettes, excessive and unnecessary shopping won’t make you feel good about yourself the next day.

Plus, if your financial situation is a bit rocky, shopping will add to your worries.

So, if these popular mood-boosters don’t really work, what does? There are a whole host of things you might try, but three that are pretty much guaranteed to lift your mood are:

1.    Exercising

Don’t groan! Getting your body moving is a great way to boost your mood (and, of course, it’s good for your health). Have you ever had that satisfied, completely de-stressed feeling after a workout? Or have you ever gone outside to “walk off” some excess nervous energy, or to get some space and recover from a bad mood?

If you’ve tried exercising in the past, you’ll know how effective it is. Over here in the UK, doctors are increasingly encouraging patients with mild to moderate depression to exercise regularly – it can help people to manage their depression without the need for drugs.

2.    Doing Something for Others

Many volunteers find that giving their time and energy to a good cause helps them to feel fulfilled and satisfied, and that it can be a great way of meeting new friends with similar interests and values. Knowing that you’ve used one of your skills to help someone in need can give your confidence and your sense of self-worth a massive boost.

You don’t necessarily need to join a formal scheme as a volunteer. How about dropping in on a lonely neighbor, doing a favor for a friend, or taking the time to phone someone who you know will appreciate a chat?

3.    Get On With Something Absorbing

When you’re feeling down, it can be hard to feel motivated to start on anything. Perhaps you’ve got a stack of emails to reply to, but you just can’t face them. (Indeed, a backlog of work might even be the cause of your bad mood.) Maybe you’ve got a particular hobby or interest that you never seem to get time for any more.

Getting on with something – anything – can sometimes be enough to lift your mood. It might mean throwing yourself into work, or enjoying a chapter or two of an engrossing novel. Sometimes, all that’s needed for your mood to lift is to simply find an activity that occupies your brain.

How do you lift your mood when you’re feeling down? Do any of the above tips work for you, or do you have some of your own to add to the list?

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6 Motivation Tips When You’re Feeling Depressed

Depression is a difficult illness for even the most iron-willed of individuals. Whether you’re clinically depressed or just in a rut, depression can make basic tasks like cleaning the house, taking a shower and even getting out of bed incredibly difficult and physically and mentally draining. It is important to stay motivated to continue to live your life and work towards feeling better, even when you’re at your lowest point. Here are some simple ways that you can motivate yourself on a daily basis:

•    Don’t be too harsh with yourself. It’s going to take time to get things done like you used to and to feel like your old self. Changes are not going to happen overnight, so don’t be overly critical of yourself if you make mistakes or don’t get as much done as you’d like. You’re having a hard enough time without getting on your own case.

•    Be realistic. Making a laundry list of things to do is a surefire way to set yourself up for failure. Start with small positive changes and work from there. If you’re not realistic you’ll just end up frustrated and more depressed.

•    Surround yourself with people. While you may just want to curl up and be alone, this isn’t the best or easiest route for you when you’re depressed. Having others around you to give you a helping hand, talk to you and provide you with inspiration is important to feeling better and getting back into the swing of things, even if you feel like you just want to shut everyone out.

•    Move around. Lying in bed all day or hunkering down on the couch isn’t going to do much but give you more time to feel bad about things. When you force yourself to get up, even if only for a short walk or to tend to some plants outside, you’ll be helping yourself feel better physically and mentally.

•    Start a project. For many, this may seem like that last thing they want to do but an enjoyable project can give you something to concentrate on that will bring your thoughts away from depression and give you something to feel proud of when you’re done.

•    Make a plan. If even the smallest tasks seem like a chore, start small with planning out what you’re going to do each day. In the morning, write down the things you’d like to accomplish and in the evening, go back and check off what you did. This can help you regain your sense of control over your life at a time when it seems the most chaotic.

Recovering from depression is a hard road, but with some planning and slow but steady progress you may be able to start feeling optimistic about your life again. For a list of more great depression resources, click here.

Meredith Walker is a guest blogger for PickTheBrain.com. She writes about online nursing programs and welcomes your feedback.

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The Real Key To Life

Image courtesy of SeanRock.

One tenet you’ll often hear in personal development circles is that “it’s good to talk” or “a burden shared is a burden halved”. Sometimes, though, when feeling down, you’ll talk to a spouse, parent or friend about how you feel … and you’ll find that you’re just dragging yourself into a deeper and blacker mood.

So why is it that talking doesn’t always help? And how can you help someone who wants to talk to you about their woes?

Talking Often Focuses on the Problem

Perhaps you’ve been feeling a bit down recently. Maybe you have bleak days when it seems like you’ve lost your direction in life. You might talk to a friend about it, detailing all the things you wish you could do (if only you had the money, or the time, or the skills), and endlessly dissecting everything that’s wrong in your life.

Talking about everything that’s wrong just reinforces your focus on things that aren’t currently working. If you’re already in a bad mood, it’ll send you spiralling further and further down. Have you ever had the experience of “working yourself into a state” – feeling a bit anxious or angry about something, and dwelling on it until the molehill becomes a mountain?

Tip for Helping: If someone wants to talk to you about everything that’s wrong in their life, encourage them to find something that’s good. Ask “what’s been better recently?” This is a technique that the coach Mark Forster uses and explains in his book How to Make Your Dreams Come True.

Talking May Mean Saying Something You Regret

When you’re in a bad mood, or feeling very fed up about something, it’s easy to think that your state of mind represents your real feelings about a job, relationship, or life situation. The truth is, how you feel when in a bad mood is no more “real” or objective than the way you feel when everything’s going swimmingly.

One danger of trying to talk through your bad moods is that you’ll end up saying something you’ll regret. Perhaps you’ll think, at the time, that you’re telling your friend a few home truths … but later you’ll realise that you don’t really think that of them at all. Maybe you’ll tell colleagues that you hate your job, despite finding it perfectly pleasant most of the time: do you want your words making their way through the office grapevine to your boss?

Tip for Helping: Try to treat anything that someone says in anger, or while upset, as something that they don’t really mean. If you do end up saying something that you regret, don’t be too hesitant to apologize once you’ve calmed down.

Talking Only Works if Someone Listens

Unfortunately, most people in the world are not good listeners – and I include myself here. When listening to someone, it’s easy to let your mind wander, or to stop concentrating on their words in order to think about what you’re going to say next. We often don’t even hear the actual words that are said – let alone the intention behind them, and the wealth of stuff that is implied.

You may get frustrated when you talk about your problems because people just don’t seem to understand. Perhaps they brush off the major issues as unimportant, and attend to the minor ones; perhaps they offer advice when all you wanted was someone to listen patiently. Maybe they’ve completely missed the point.

Tip for Helping: Learn how to listen actively. If you’re seeking help, try going to a life coach, counsellor or someone else who has been trained to listen and to help you work through problems.

Do you find that talking to someone when you’re in a bad mood helps you to feel better – or does it tend to make things worse? Have you been able to help people by listening to them when they’re going through a bleak spell?

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One great question to ask if you’re interested in self-improvement is “Am I investing in myself?”  – particularly when you’re feeling stuck, or when your progress towards your goals hasn’t been so fast as you’d like.

So what does “investing in yourself” mean? This depends on what your goals are, but these are three big areas you might want to invest some time, money and thought in:
•    Your appearance
•    Your skills
•    Your health

All of these are important for success in many walks of life. Here’s why, and some ideas how you can invest in each.

Investing In Your Appearance

This might seem a very shallow thing to put at the top. Unfortunately, like it or not, we all tend to judge on appearances. In some jobs or roles, looking the part can make a real difference to how others perceive and treat you.

Just as importantly, your appearance can have huge effects on your self confidence. Have you ever been at an event where you misjudged the formality and ended up very under-dressed or over-dressed? I’ll bet you felt awkward and out of place. Conversely, you might well have taken extra care over your grooming before a big presentation, and felt more confident as a result.

Investing in your appearance might mean:
•    Saving up for a good suit
•    Getting up ten minutes earlier to have time to look your best for work
•    Asking a fashionable friend for advice on your usual “look”
•    Losing some weight (also important for health reasons)
•    Taking some time to revamp your wardrobe, ensuring you have clothes that mix and match well

If you feel that your appearance is the big area you need to invest in, Trent from The Simple Dollar has some strong advice (particularly if you’re in a fairly traditional job) in his article on The Value of Personal Appearance.

Investing in Your Skills

All of us have a certain skill set, often based on our jobs (current and past), our hobbies and our day-to-day experiences. Employers tend to be interested primarily in skills – what you can do. Some of these will be very specific to particular jobs (technical skills, such as being able to program a computer) and other skills are “transferable skills” that you can use in many careers as well as in day-to-day life (such as public speaking or presentational skills).

Clear five or ten uninterrupted minutes when you can sit down and list your skills. Put down little things as well as big ones – being able to bake the perfect cake is a skill!

What skills could you develop, with the investment of a little time or money? Could any of these form the basis of a new career, a side business, a fulfilling hobby, or something you could offer to your community?

Some ways to invest in your skills are:
•    Read a book that teaches you something new in a particular area
•    Attend a local course
•    Take part in an online course
•    Ask someone to mentor you
•    Schedule regular time to practise

Investing in Your Health

Too many of us are storing up health problems for later life – one that could cause financial problems or give us a huge reduction in quality of life. It’s much cheaper to focus on staying healthy than to take preventative action once something’s gone wrong. If you’re in good health, you’ll perform better at work, you’ll have more energy to work towards your goals, and you’ll generally feel happier!

Don’t just think about your physical health, either; mental health is just as important (and, indeed, your mental and physical health can’t be considered in complete isolation). By investing some time and money now, you could save yourself a huge amount of both in the future. Here are some ideas to get you started:
•    If you’re over or under weight, start taking action
•    Get some exercise each day – great for your body and mind
•    Take good care of your teeth (dental hygiene, and regular visits to your dentist) – tooth  pain can be crippling
•    If you work at a computer, learn about RSI and how to prevent it.
•    Eat a healthy, balanced diet, focusing on fruits, veggies, wholegrains and lean proteins.
•    Don’t smoke, take drugs, or drink excessive amounts of alcohol.

What areas could you invest in? Is it worth spending some money or some time now in order to improve your position in the future?

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